New Dads

There is very little information or help out there for new dads to feel involved in the whole pregnancy and birth process, it is normally all about mother and baby. And dads have just got to get on with things as much as they can and with little information given.

New mums aren’t the only ones who suffer with becoming a new parent. Being a new dad can be very stressful and scary also. While new mothers recovering from giving birth have family, friends and midwives on hand to reassure them that everything is going to be fine and mood changes are perfectly normal in pregnancy. Dads receive no reassurance to help them cope with the worries of becoming a father or doubts about themselves, whether they can be a good dad after childbirth and also how to deal with the excitement of first time fatherhood.

What new dads may feel during labour?

  • Wanting to help the mother to be, but not being sure how
  • Worrying about responsibility of a new baby
  • Financial situation
  • Feeling left out of the pregnancy
  • Surprised at how unwell their partner may feel during labour, and not knowing what to do to help
  • Worried how life will change once the newborn arrives

New dad’s concerns about labour and birth:

  • Being at the birth, and not knowing if they will cope
  • Missing the birth
  • Worries for the health of mother and baby
  • Having to watch their partner in pain

What men enjoy about becoming a new dad:

Knowing you can father a child (you are not firing blanks!). Watching how fast your partner’s body grows throughout the pregnancy. The excitement of seeing the life you helped to create on a scan, telling everyone that you’re going to be a new daddy.

Positive feelings about the birth include:

The relief that baby is due to arrive at last; seeing the baby and knowing he or she is okay; telling everyone about the baby, and finally, becoming a family.

Will I be a good dad?

For the first few years, a lot of the parenting involves skills taught in childbirth classes and through practice. No child comes with instructions, so for both new mums and dads it is a learning process. Becoming a new dad is like other new roles that may occur in your life. If you get married, you don’t know how to be a good husband from the start. You learnt the way with your new wife.

It may help to talk to friends and family, spend time with other fathers and discuss issues that are worrying you.

How will becoming a new dad affect our relationship and sex life?

Pregnant women experience great physical, emotional and hormonal changes, while also dealing with the same changes as the dads-to-be. As the pregnancy progresses, it may affect both of you emotionally.

If you’re not feeling stable or good about your relationship, try to work through the issues as soon as possible. Many couples mistakenly think that a baby will bring them together. But a baby can’t fix a troubled relationship; it will only make it worse, and add lot’s more stress. And the sooner you find a way to work through any problems together, the sooner you’ll feel more at ease with becoming a new parent.

You can enjoy sex during pregnancy as long as there are no complications, or aches and pains, or complications of miscarriage or premature labour. Discuss with your doctor, nurse-midwife, or other health care provider about any risks. As with any other problem related to pregnancy or your relationship, it is important for you as a new dad to be and mum to be to speak openly about what feels right for each of you.

Filed under: Pregnancy • Uncategorized

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